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Power of Authenticity

January 3, 2009 / / 2 comments

Recently, I completed a course in Spirited Facilitation, which applies leading-edge principles and practices to group facilitation. Spirited Facilitation was developed by coach and trainer, Karen Capello, based on the inspired learning model (see www.inspiredlearning.org/model.php). I look forward to sharing more of this model with you in the future entries.

One of the key elements of the spirited facilitation model is learning to connect at will to the feeling of being fully alive, which is also when we are most fully our selves. Ms. Capello calls this state of being, our “essence energy.” Coach Rhonda Britten calls it, “our essential nature.” It is our physical, mental, emotional and spiritual state of being, when we are being self-actualizing, when we are living according to our highest purpose. It feels pretty good!

Each of us would describe this state of being differently. For example, for me, it would be something like, “inspired, insightful, co-creativity.” I am happiest and most inspired when I am finding new perspectives and making useful connections — especially in interesting conversations with others, and creating something new that adds to the quaity of our experience. For others, this peak experience may be “calm radiance” or something very different.

Whatever it may be, Ms. Britten points out that claiming (or reclaiming) our essential nature is key to to jumping off our “wheel of fear.” In an earlier post, I shared a story about witnessing a demonstration by hypnotherapist Monica Justice, in which she demonstrated that speaking the truth makes us physically stronger  (http://www.creativeleadercoach.com/2008/10/10/cultivating-strengthcultivating-strength/)

Could it be that we gain strength — perhaps connect to our personal power — by being and expressing our authentic selves? For me, these are provocative questions which raise some big issues, which, of course, we will discuss here 🙂

Category: All Posts, Coaching, Diversity, Leadership, Partnership, Psychology /

What blocks our fulfilling success?

December 27, 2008 / / No comments

Earlier in this blog we talked about the hamster “wheel of fear,” that self-perpetuating spiral of fear and reaction that tends to lead us precisely where we don’t want to go.  We’ve been discussing some concepts and tools to help us live and work more consciously, proactively, and creatively, towards the goals we really want — our visions.

However, it is very common for people to feel blocked or stuck with repect to achieving their goals. It’s not that they don’t want them, it’s just that they don’t quite seem to ever move forward or achieve them. As the field of coaching has arisen to help people achieve their goals (whether it is to win a baseball game or lead a successful change initiative), it has developed some tools for helping people achieve them.

There are four basic reasons that people become blocked with respect to achieving goals (or in the process-oriented language that I prefer, “in living towards their goals and enjoying the moment — which is really all that we have”):

1. They aren’t motivated enough. They don’t really want the goal or are out of touch with the reasons they want it.  Perhaps the goal is a “should” for them.  For example, “I should exercise more.”  Or, they may want the goal but not be tuned into their motivation, their reasons and compelling emotions around the outcome.

2. They don’t know how to move forward. On a related note, they may lack the structures (situational cues) to support the actions they need to take.

3.  Circumstances are such that the goals could never be achieved.  Although this explanation is very common, it is very rarely true.  Rather, like the lab rats that, having repeatedly received a shock when they approached their food, later avoided it, even after the shocks were removed, many of our barriers are the result of our own, faulty beliefs (See #4).

4. They have conflicting beliefs and commitments — often below the level of conscious awarneness — that generate resistance and sabotage their progress. (See my upcoming post: “Why rational people do seemingly irrational things…”)

How do we determine the reason we are stuck? Sometimes it’s clear to us that we are missing needed information, for example, or we may be able to rule out some possibilities. For example, “there are no clear barriers, and I know what to do, I just can’t get started…” 

A nice tool for dealing with a lack of clarity on how to move forward is the “plan for a plan” — what do I need to know and how can I get the information. (Sometimes, when we are being truly creative, the project might entail multiple cycles of learning and doing — sometimes called the spiral model).

In contrast, “shoulds” and conflicting beliefs and commitments often have their roots in the subconscious. For me, one of the most juicy and interesting parts of coaching is surfacing these beliefs and holding them up to the light of day, as it is a very liberating process …

Category: All Posts, Change, Coaching, Leadership, Psychology, Rewards /

Success is a verb

December 18, 2008 / / No comments

In Western culture, we tend to be inclined to believe in and aim towards static and desireable future. In myths and fairy tailes, our heroes’ and heroines’ journies end in a static, experientially eternal state of bliss or pain. This is also a theme of monotheistic religions, which have shaped our worldview over the past several thousand years: life is often viewed as a journey to an eternity which is often painted as either homogenously wonderful or awful.

Such stories often shape our deepest and oldest beliefs and expectations of life. For example, I’ve known never-married women and men who believe that, if they find and marry the right person, that their lives will be happy and fulfilled ever after. Similarly, many Americans dream of a good retirement in which we will be passed all of the travails of our lives, and live our golden years in health, safety and fulfillment. Heaven is a place where we can lean back, wipe our brow, and finally exclaim, “We made it!”

As a result, we may be tempted to live for and in the future — for “someday.”

Intellectually, however, we know that it is never “someday”; it is always today. When we reach the top of the mountain, there is a new vista, and from that vista we set new goals. Life, in other words, is an ongoing process.  Myths and fairy tales are only able to maintain the illusion of future permanence by drawing a curtain at the end of the tale. If they continued to follow the characters through the remainder of their lives, we would find that life is characterized by change. When a biological organism stops changing, we can be sure that it is dead. Similarly, in the bigger picture, our cosmos also continues to change and evolve.

Along the same lines, we might observe that life isn’t composed of two parts, non-eternity and eternity: Logically, infinity plus 100 years (a nice, long human lifespan) still equals infinity. Therefore, to the degree that we acknowledge eternity, we might notice that eternity doesn’t start “later”; rather, here we are ….

It is human nature (and no doubt the nature of life in general) to move towards greater fulfillment. Studies have shown that the happiest people are those who feel they are making progress towards a goal. Imagining and living in the present, towards a desireable future is a necessary and fulfilling part of life.

However, our old, deep rooted belief in “ever after” can lead us, instead, to live “for the future,” effectively postponing our lives and preventing us from living fully in the present.

One manifestation of living for the future is an over-reliance on “left-brain” intellectual busyness and/or will power. Aside from draining the joy and vitality from life, this posture makes us less effective in the present. For example, we may become less aware of opportunities in the here and now, and also less creative.

Therefore, I submit that it would be a lot more fruitful if we began to think of success as a verb. Certainly there are goals to achieve, but if we think of success as a process, we open up more possibilities for effectiveness, creativity and enjoyment in the now. And, if as leaders, we can create environments in which success is a verb, we will increase intrinsic motivation (which we know is far superior than extrinsic motivation) for  ourselves and others.

Our cultural belief in “ever after” is an example of a subterranean belief — a belief that tends to exist and operate below that level of our conscious awareness. These beliefs can either support us in living towards our desireable future or they may block us. Because, as a coach, I’m interested in helping people achieve their fulfilling success, we will talk in much greater depth in this blog about these subterranian beliefs and how they shape our present (including how they can keep us on our “wheel of fear”).

For today, we might ask consider the question, what is our idea of success? Is it a static place defined by certain accomplishments or acquisitions, at which we hope to someday arrive (only to notice that that line and place keeps moving)? Or is it an attitude of living fully in the present, while continually moving in the direction of our heart’s desire?

Reflection

* Imagine success as a destination in the future. What emotions does that concept bring up for you? How present do you feel in your body? How present are you to your immediate surroundings and possibilities?

* Now imagine success as an orientation, a way of being in the present towards fulfilling goals. How would you live differently? How would your quality of life differ?

Category: All Posts, Change, Coaching, Creativity, Culture, Leadership, Partnership, Philosophy, Rewards, Vision / Tags: , ,

To your fulfilling success

December 14, 2008 / / No comments

One of my mentor-coaches, Lou D’Alo www.powerupcoaching.com signs his emails with the phrase, “To your fulfilling success.” I really appreciate this phrase, because it expresses a Partnership approach to success that encompasses both our qualititative experience — happiness and fulfillment  — and our quantitiative results. It feels richer and more complete.

An activity or state of being is especially fulfilling when we are living according to our inspired purpose, which encompasses our special gifts — those activities that give us joy. 

Whereas the term success has come to mean a kind of material and social status, a kind of cultural goal, or “should,” the expression “your fulfilling success” involves thriving in your own particular way — living the life and making the contribution that only you can make. When this becomes our way of life, and when we support others in living their own fulfilling success, we are living in Partnership.

In this blog, we will be continuing to explore concepts and ideas that support your fulfilling success.

Questions for Exploration
* What does the term “success” feel like to you?  How do you envision it?
* How does the term “fulfilling success” feel like to you?  What does it look like for you?
* What are the differences between the two for you?
* What possibilities or concerns arise for you as you contemplate the difference?

Category: All Posts, Coaching, Culture, Diversity, Partnership, Rewards, Values, Vision /

Creativity, Dreaming, and Shaping the Future

December 12, 2008 / / No comments

“Nor do I hear in my imagination the parts successively. I hear them all at once. What a delight this is! All this inventing, this producing, takes place in a pleasing, lively, dream.” –Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart

Good morning, readers! It’s been a very intense time for me on the career coaching side of my practice, and I’ve been longing to spend more time with you here.  Mozart’s quote is a great reminder for us to recall the source and nature of our creativity. It’s not sequential analytical thought (though that has its own place in our lives and organizations); rather, our creativity seems to emerge from our wholistic right brains.

Is creativity important in your life and work?  Do you have problems to solve, or opportunities to meet? Would you like a better quality of experience?  If so, where and when do you take the time to nuture your playful, visionary, creative nature?

Category: All Posts, Change, Creativity, Innovation, Science, Vision /

The Mythology of Organizations

November 22, 2008 / / No comments

If you enjoy this blog, you might also enjoy this creative and potentially very fruitful approach of considering leadership and organizations using the lens of mythology:

http://www.freewebs.com/mythologyoforganization/index.htm

Category: All Posts, Culture, Leadership, Organization, Psychology /

The power of perspective

November 2, 2008 / / No comments

In Cultivating Strength (see http://www.creativeleadercoach.com/2008/10/10/cultivating-strength/ ), we discussed how speaking our truth and postive thoughts and words literally make us stronger. In this post, we will talk a bit about a way of understanding the world, so that we can more easily see why this might be true.

The science of psychoneuroimmunology, which studies the intimate relationship of our minds and bodies, shows us that our subjective states have physical correlates. And other posts in this blog have discussed how our perspectives, thoughts and feelings help shape our social, and ultimately environmental realities, in both gross and subtle ways.

This is common sense: We know, for example, that stress can physically damage our bodies, and we usually easily notice when a person is joyful, anxious, loving, or angry. And, of course, our actions arise from the complex interrelationships of our thoughts and feelings.

Yet, culturally, we are generally taught (when we are taught such things), that mind and body are two entirely different spheres. In philosophical terms, this is called mind-body dualism. However, another, altogether different view has arisen from both our common sense experience and new sciences, such as psychoneuroimmunology. The psycho-social or process view observes that subjective and objective states might be thought of as two sides of the same coin. For this reason, the term “body-mind” is increasingly frequently used to refer to ourselves as unified beings, having both subjective and objective dimensions.

Cultivating Strength described how negative thoughts and feelings can weaken us. We know that unmanaged stress can have negative consequences for our physical, mental, emotional, social, financial .. health, and depending on our actions, for the health of the environment. Thankfully! conversely, postive thoughts and emotions can be healing. (For example, see professor Norman Cousins’ Anatomy of an Illness).

Our perspectives, which guide our perceptions, and hence thoughts and emotions are extraordinarily powerful with respect to the physical, social and environmental realities that we co-create. Yet, because our perspectives, or the way we view things, tend to be implicit — both in a physical and psychological sense prior to our actual thoughts — we are often not consciously aware of them and how they are creating our circumstances.

Therefore, it’s useful to exhume?! our perspectives to better understand how they are shaping our lives, and to decide whether we want to keep them as is, or whether other perspectives might help us create the kinds of lives (and organizations) we want.

To be continued!

Category: All Posts, Change, Coaching, Leadership, Philosophy, Science /

Working with interruptions? Not smart!

October 20, 2008 / / No comments

As a brief departure from our current discussion, I recently heard that when we are regularly interrupted by ringing telephones, email announcements, and visitors, that our IQ drops by about 10% – the same level of impairment found in people who are under the influence of marijuana. The colleague who shared this information with me joked, “All of the impairment, none of the benefits.”   

Most of us who have worked in an environment with frequent interruptions know that it materially affects our productivity, as well as our stress levels. It is the oppositive of the flow state, in which we tend to be extraordinarily effective. 

In our current age, which has been called the information or innovation age, the success of our organizations depends on the intelligence, creativity and effectiveness of people, who are many times also the biggest investment of the firm.  How can we make sure that our organizational members are as creative and effective as possible?

Some time and activity management experts recommend that we cultivate the habit of setting aside uninterrupted work time on a regular basis, to make progress on our most important projects — that we schedule appointments with ourselves in the same way that we schedule them with others.  The key is to let people know when you will be responding to email and phone calls.

Yet, some corporate cultures do not support this practice, prefering that its members always be available for questions at any time.  (It would be interesting to compare their results with organizations that manage this issue more strategically!) 

What is your experience?  What practices work well for you?

Category: All Posts, Creativity, Culture, Design, Innovation, Leadership /

Cultivating strength

October 10, 2008 / / One comment

Especially given the turmoil in the markets in recent days, it seems to be good timing to return to the subject of how we can leap off the “hamster wheel of fear” — a self-perpetuating negative cycle — and onto our wheel of creative freedom.  Recently, I had the privilege to watch a presentation by certified hypnotherapist, Monica Justus, CHt.  Ms. Justus invited a volunteer from the audience, a local business owner with a technical background whom I would consider a skeptical person, and demonstrated the effect of thoughts and words on our physical and mental strength.

For the demonstration, she asked him to extend his arm straight out to the side, which he did. She then asked him his name, which he answered truthfully. She pressed down strongly on his extended arm, but it remained strong and in place, demonstrating strength. She then asked him to respond to the question in a way that was not true.  Strikingly, his arm weakened, and she was easily able to push it down.  I’ve since used this demonstration in a training situation — it works.

It appears that when we speak our truth, we are, in fact, stronger.

Ms. Justus went on to test the effect of positive and negative words and concepts. The words “love” and “peace” tested “strong.” The word “war” caused his arm to go weak.

We spend most of our days thinking and communicating with others. What is the quality of our thoughts? Do we think self-defeating and fearful thoughts that weaken us, or do we look for the positive in ourselves and our situation? Do we see problems or opportunities? 

And, are we living and speaking our truth or supressing our true thoughts out of fear?  (On this note, I don’t advocate reckless, controlling, or inconsiderate speech. However, if your situation does not safely permit you to express your perspective, it may be worthwhile to consider how you might alter your situation).

Choosing what makes us stronger, including our truth, and a constructive perspective is a key to shifting off the wheel of fear, and onto our wheel of creative freedom.  More on this later!

Category: All Posts, Coaching, Collaboration, Communication, Creativity, Culture, Leadership, Partnership, Vision /

Are you a professional in career transition?

October 3, 2008 / / No comments

You may be interested in Conejo Valley Career & Life Transitions Program, which provides free and low-cost support to professionals who have lost their jobs or want to prepare their next step in a challenging economy.  The program is open to professionals outside the area; however, networking events are currently only available in the Conejo Valley and Ventura County.

You can find more information and register at: www.cvcareertransitions.com/community 

As part of our outreach, my good colleague, Anthony Mitchell of Coach2You and I will be hosting a booth at the 23rd Annual Westlake Village Car Show on Sunday October 5, 2008 from 10am to 2:30 pm. The event is free to the public and will be held at:

Countrywide Financial Corp.
31303 Agoura Road
Westlake Village, CA

If you are in the area, please stop by and say hello!

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